Yesterday I was confronted by several instances of angry rude people venting their frustration about their life on others. This sort of behaviour seems to be becoming the norm in every day life. Out there, it seems, in the world are a whole horde of people who have grown up angry or are just plain embittered in life because things havent turned out how they want them to or people havent given them the respect that they think they deserve. I always keep this in mind when I am being good and reflecting on my day like my 12th step programme requires of me (yes i do follow one), that when I am in a good space, I love everyone, even the people I dislike muchly, and I am helpful and polite and all is well in Paula's little world. But when something in my world is not right and I am angry, discontent and ill at ease, I can tell by my thinking and my behaviour towards others. I can get pissed off with anyone and anything and have been known to fly off the handle at the stupidest littlest things. Its not the little thing that I have made a mountain out of a mole hill about that is truly bothering me and making me behave with uncontrollable anger, but the thing that turns me into a monster is generally what has been making me fell discontent and ill at ease. Then I have to identify what is going on in my life that is causing this distress. I usually do not have to look to far. The problem always somewhere within me. When my finances are threatened or my selfesteem is affected or my sense of security is threatened, it makes me feel out of control and in my attempts to fix myself, I try desperately to control other people and other areas of my life and often fail badly because I am angry and resentful. When I recognise whats really going on for me, I need to address these feelings and remember that I can only change or control what I can, and if I can't change something or someone (as is usually the case with me) I have to let it go before it destroys me.
Some very wise person once told me this and it is so true: "Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting
Someone else to die, it isn't going to happen and the pnly person that it harms is yourself"......
Don't get angry, get wise
By the way, this was my favourite blog post yesterday from Kathryn Warner
And these are links to my other blogs