Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Eliminating Self Pity

So I am one more step closer to seeing my dream of having my own novel published coming true. It's a very exciting moment in my life and one that I thought I would never see. I feel somewhat nervous and i woke up this morning with that funny tummy feeling but its gone now, disappearing through the red letter box that I sent off my corrected proofing for the publishers this morning. Its a really nice feeling to know that soon I will be checking the final proof!

I've not had much to say lately, actually thats a lie because everytime something has popped into my head and I think, that'd be good to blog about, I am in no way able to do it timewise. So today's blog is really just about tuning back in and sorting out the cobwebs in my brain because I have been mad at work on my proof reading and believe it or not I have thought about pretty much nothing else for about 5 days.

my family

Actually I am feeling pretty grateful and lucky today, I met a man last night who I have known for some years and he is dying of cancer. He came to my AA meeting last night and funnily enough the topic for the meeting was 'Eliminating Self Pity'. I shared about my own ability to wallow in self pity and I also shared about my difficult relationships with my kids, not that the kids themselves are difficult creatures, its me. As he shared is stuff, I thought to myself  about me and my poor-me-head "STFU, who are you to be so ungrateful?", you're alive and in good health compared to some and you have great kids and a loving mother and a full and busy life which is more than poor Derek (not his real name)  has, for he has less than a year to live. So this morning, as I happily trotted down to the post office to send my future off in that big brown jiffy bag, I remembered Derek from last night, grateful that he is dying sober, grateful that he got into recovery before he died, grateful that he has the fellowship to help see him through the worst thing that could happen to him and smiling and laughing with such fortitude and courage at what he is facing. Yes life is good today and don't I bloody well know it!

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